Mayra looks at Starkit's prophecy and does crap
by Mayra10673
Summary: Mmm, Starkit, such wow, much wonder. And down to the actual junk I'm about to say. Read. Flame. Favourite. Follow. Do whatever it is that you people do. Always remember, everything is welcome.
1. Alliances (Allegiances)

ALLIANCES  
ok so like i said this iks my first story be nice plz **(Please use proper grammar in the start of the book)**

btw its set afte rsunset so **(Sunrise*)**

ThunderClan

Leader: Firestar - ginger tom with a flame-colored pelt

Deputy: Brambleclaw - dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

Medicine Cat: JayFeather-gray tom **(Really? That's it?)**

Warriors:

Squirrelflight - dark ginger she-cat with green eyes **(Don't think she's a senior warrior yet,)**

Apprentice, Foxpaw **(Apprentice here)**

Dustpelt - dark brown tabby tom

Sandstorm - pale ginger she-ca **(Cat*)**

Cloudtail - long-haired white tom

Apprentice DaisyPaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace **(Hmmm, I do believe her name is Daisy and that she's a nursery queen)**

Brackenfur - golden brown tabby tom

Sorreltail - tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with amber eyes

Thornclaw - golden brown tabby tom

Brightheart - white she-cat with ginger patches

Spiderleg - long-limbed black tom with brown underbelly and amber eyes

Whitewing - white she-cat with green eyes

Apprentice, Icepaw **(Apprentice here aswell,)**

Birchfall - light brown tabby tom

Graystripe - long-haired gray tom

Berrynose - cream-colored tom

Hazeltail - small gray-and-white she-cat

Mousewhisker - gray-and-white tom

Cinderheart - gray tabby she-cat

Poppyfrost - tortoiseshell she-cat

Honeyfern- light brown tabby she-cat

Lionblaze - golden tabby tom

Hollyleaf - black she-cat

FoxHeart-reddish tabby tom **(Warrior here, Foxleap*)**

IceFire-white she cat **(Warrior here too, makes no sense. Icecloud*)**

ToadRibbit-black—and-white tom **(This is a terrible name. Toadstep*)**

RoseFlame-dark cream she cat ***Cough cough* Rosepetal *Cough cough*)**

BriarStorm-dark brown she cat **(Don't think it would be that, nor would she be a warrior,)**

BumbleFlower-very pale gray tom with black stipes **(Much manly, such macho)**

BlossomWind-pale brown she cat iwth a dark stripe along her spine **(*Cough cough cough*)**

Apprentices:

Fox DaisyPaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace **(That doesn't make sense)**

FlamePaw-firecolored she cat with one grnee eye one blue eye

LakePaw-bright blue gray she cat with blue eyes

The last 2 r starKits siters **(Hmmm, didn't know cats had baby sitters,)**

JazzPaw-red she cat with blue eyes and a black tail **(Would be a nice name if it was an actual warrior cat name)**

Queens:

Ferncloud - pale gray (with darker flecks) she-cat with green eyes mother of Dustpelts kits **(Who are..?)**

Dawnsparkle-bright tortishell she cat with garguntan blue eye's mother of Jayfeathers' ktis, formaly of Shadowclan **(Give me the chainsaw, I'vew had enough of this git messing with my Jayfeather and pairing her up with some Shadowclan a[The following content is blocked for the safety of young users])**

Kits:

StarKit-graysh-blue-and purple she cat with molting orange eyes and a white star on her forhaed **(That's soooooo realistic)**

Elders:

Longtail - pale tabby tom with dark black stripes, retired early due to failing sight

Mousefur - small dusky brown she-cat

Weaslepelt-big red tabby he cat with bight yellow eyes (hes Rowanclaw's dad, he came to Thunderclan when Dawn- did0 **(I don't think a Shadowclan warrior would abandon his son for some scraggle tailed traitor)**

LeafPool-brown tabby she cat **(Don't believe she retired,)**

ShadowClan

Leader: Blackstar - large white tom with huge jet-black paws

Deputy: Russetfur - dark ginger she-cat

Medicine Cat: Littlecloud - very small tabby tom

Apprentice, Flamepaw (ginger tom)

Warriors:

Oakfur - small brown tom

Apprentice, Tigerpaw (dark brown tabby tom)

Rowanclaw - ginger tom

Smokefoot - black tom

Apprentice, Owlpaw (light brown tabby tom)

Ivytail - black, white and tortoiseshell she-cat

Apprentice, Dawnpaw (cream-furred she-cat)

Toadfoot - dark brown tom

Crowfrost - black-and-white tom

Apprentice, Olivepaw (tortoiseshell she-cat)

Kinkfur - tabby she-cat, with long fur that sticks out at all angles

Ratscar - brown tom with long scar across his back

Apprentice, Shrewpaw (gray she-cat with black feet)

Snaketail - dark brown tabby tom with striped tail **(Where does he come from?)**

Apprentice, Scorchpaw (dark gray tom)

Whitewater - white she-cat with long fur, blind in one eye

Apprentice, Redpaw (mottled brown and ginger tom)

Tawnypelt - tortoiseshell she-cat with green eyes

Flamewind- flame color tabby tom with green eye's

Tigerclaw-huge dark brown tabby tom with long claw's and amber eys **(Logical name since he's a dead cat,)**

DawnFeather-cream tabby she cat (shes a different cant then the one in tC ok?) **(Wouldn't we know that since their names are different?)**

OlivePaw-bright brown she cat** (Hmm, apprentice among a bunch of warriors, seems logical)**

Queens:

Snowbird - pure white she-cat

Elders:

Cedarheart - dark gray tom

Tallpoppy - long-legged light brown she-cat

WindClan

Leader: Onestar - brown tabby tom

Deputy: Ashfoot - gray she-cat

Medicine Cat: Barkface - short-tailed brown tom

Apprentice, Kestrelpaw (mottled gray tom)

Warriors:

Tornear - tabby tom

Crowfeather - dark gray tom

Owlwhisker - light brown tabby tom

Whitetail - small white she-cat

Nightcloud - black she-cat

Gorsetail - very pale gray-and-white cat with blue eyes

Weaselfur - ginger tom with white paws

Harespring - brown-and-white tom

Leaftail - dark tabby tom, amber eyes

Apprentice, Thistlepaw (long-haired white tom)

Dewspots - spotted gray she-cat

Apprentice, Sedgepaw (light brown tabby she-cat)

Willowclaw - gray she-cat

Apprentice, Swallowpaw (dark gray she-cat)

Antpelt - brown tom with one black ear

Emberfoot - gray tom with two dark paws

Apprentice, Sunpaw (tortoiseshell she-cat with large white mark on her forehead)

Heathertail - light brown tabby she-cat with blue eyes

Breezepelt - black tom with amber eyes

Elders:

Morningflower - very old tortoiseshell queen

Webfoot - dark gray tabby tom

**(No comment for Windclan)**

RiverClan

Leader: Leopardstar - unusually spotted golden tabby she-cat

Deputy: Mistyfoot - gray she-cat with blue eyes

Medicine Cat: Mothwing - dappled golden she-cat

Apprentice, Willowshine (gray tabby she-cat)

Warriors:

Blackclaw - smoky-black tom

Voletooth - small brown tabby tom

Apprentice, Minnowpaw (dark gray she-cat)

Reedwhisker - black tom

Mosspelt - tortoiseshell she-cat with blue eyes

Apprentice, Pebblepaw (mottled gray tom)**(Hmm, isn't he a kit? Or maybe that's just faulty memory,)**

Beechfur - light brown tom

Rippletail - dark gray tabby tom

Apprentice, Mallowpaw (light brown tabby tom)

Graymist - pale gray tabby

Dawnflower - pale gray she-cat

Dapplenose - mottled gray she-cat

Pouncetail - ginger-and-white tom

Mintfur - light gray tabby tom

Apprentice, Nettlepaw (dark brown tabby tom)

Otterheart - dark brown she-cat

Apprentice, Sneezepaw (gray-and-white tom)

Pinefur - very short-haired tabby she-cat

Apprentice, Robinpaw (tortoiseshell-and-white tom)

Rainstorm - mottled gray-blue tom

Duskfur - brown tabby she-cat

Apprentice, Copperpaw (dark ginger she-cat) **(*Cough*)**

Queens:

Icewing - white cat with green eyes, mother of Beetlekit, Pricklekit, Petalkit, and Grasskit

Elders:

Heavystep - thickset tabby tom

Swallowtail - dark tabby she-cat

Stonestream - gray tom **(Mmmrrrrpppp!)**

**A/N**

**Alright! Sorry! I COMPLETELY forgot about these! I was taking a look at the website I'm botching it off of and there it is XD I don't know how long this went unnoticed for!**


	2. Prologue type thingy

Chpater oen prouloge **(I must teach this delightful young chap how to spell!)****  
**

The cats gathered around a pool. They all looked into it eagerly. A dark shape appeared on the surface.**(*Gasp* Such drama! Much wow!)**

A blue she cat looked up. Her eyes were bright. "There is a prophecy!" She said. "out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly."**(Oh that's so classic and dramatic)**

"Its about StarKit!" **(Mmmm, isn't the hero meant to remain unknown until they actually commit the good deed?) **A white tom said. "She**'**s going to save the forest,"**(And that's sooooo not obvious)** He looked at a gold tom **(Gold tom who? There are probably thousands of golden toms in Starclan)** by BlueStar.

"she has powers nobody dreamed of." Said the gold tom. "Should we tell JayFeather?" He asked.

"Yes." Said BlueStar. **(More prefix capitalizing!) **"he needs to know." She walked away from the pool to tell JayFeather about the prophcy.**(*Kaff kaff kaff*)**

**A/N**

**To be honest with you, I don't give a rat's left buttox over the person who reported it.**

**Yeah, I don't care.**

**I was considering just quitting fanfiction altogether but when I looked back into the recesses of my brain and pulled out a memory. Of all the stuff you guys actually did for me. And I decided.**

**I am coming back.**

**As always, flames and hates are welcome, favourites and follows are appreciated.**


	3. The first Thingy

Chapter to the rose of a Heroin** (We on drugs now?)**

ok jazzie-kun pleas dont get mad at me cause your not in it yet. You'l apear soon dont worry.**(Uh, whaaa?)**

StarKit wock **(Wock! I wock you with my stick!) **up and sunlit was in the branches. She closed her eyes againstill tired. Butter **(Butter! Butter butter butter!) **mom wouldn't let her sleep not today.

"Sweety its time to get up" said Dawnsparkle**(*Cough* Such *Cough* wonderful *Cough* realistic *Hack* name)**; her eys shinning. "Today is important today."

What is it Mom" said StarKit awake right away. Then the she cat **(She-cat? Which she-cat?)**rememembered **(Rememember! I rememember when I used to be able to remember stuff!) **what today was. "

"Ohmigosh its my serimony **(Does she mean ceremony?) **today!' she squelled **(Squelled... I wonder what that word means)**excercisedly **(This book gets stranger and stranger..)**. Today was the day she was an apprentice! She flicked outside not even waiting for her Mom. But her Mom cot **(Cot? As in cot that you lie on?) **up to her quick.

"Sweety you know the clans don't except cats like use sometimes." She said. StarKit glared. She didn't lake beig **(Lake beig! I'm going to lake beig tomorow!) **told that. Just because her Mom was a used to be Shadowclan cat and her dad was jayFeather **(Why the non capitalized suffix?)** the medicine Cat didn"t mean she w**a**s different!

"StarPaw come here." Said FireStar from the leg. He jumped down. "StarKit it s tome** (Tome? What is a tome?)** for you to become an ap**pr**entice: he said. "Your a strong brave cat and because of that I will mentor with you." Ever**y**body gasped. StarKit did too. Se herd hear mother say "Wow!". Firehert **(Firestar*) **liked her shoulder **(Liked her shoulder?! Does he have a crush on her shoulder?! FIRESTAR NOOOOOO!)**. He whispered in her ear

"you**'**ll be the best their ever was StarPaw I know ti **(Ti! I'd love a cup of ti with my jam and bread.)**." Surpised she walked away when they were done howling **(Howling? Why would they be screaming for her?)**for her./ Then she went ofer **(Ofer? Is that some sort of fancy chair?)** to JayFeathern **(Has Jayfeather become an intern or something?) **and DawnSparkle who were very prod.**(Prod! I prod thee with thy stick!)**

"Daughetr where very happy but he have to say something said Jayfeather his chest puffed ouit **(Ouit! This girl is teaching me so many new words!)**. "You see there is this proph**e**cy Starcaln **(Starcaln! I'll be going there when I die!) ** gave me it said that out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly."

StarPaw gasped. What does **(Did*) **it mean?

lol I update fast dont i. REVEIW or ill hit over the head with a frying pan! XDD jk**(Erm, excuse me?)**


	4. Blackstar attacks

Chapter three the Battle 4 the caln **(Oh that's so cool, chapter three and we're having a big giant battle)**

thx jazzie-kun 4 th good review! and stop flmaing the stroy!1 i bet u cant right such a good story!1!1

StarPaw walkd **(I'm beginning to doubt this guy's intelligence..) **over too the appentice's den. Insid she saw her sister's FlamePaw and lakePaw **(Oh so her sisters were apprentices before her?) **and hr frend JazzPaw (a.n: jazzie-kin ur my bff!) waz slepping on the mos. **(I must send this poor child to pre-school, she still has so much to learn..)**

"JazzPaw get up." She cried **(Why would she be crying?)**. JazzPaw opend her brlliaint blu **(Blu, I like cordan blu beef.) **eyes and looked at hr.

"Do yo want 2 go on pattrol wit me?" she asked.**(Erm, what?)**

"Sure!" Said JazzPaw getten **(Getten, shut up I'm getten my dinner!) **up from the moss. They leavt and went two the entrnse too camp.

But then, a cat came in thru the entrnce! It was BlackStar!1!11 **(Why are there ones here?)**

"Shadowclan are attaking!**(She dropped a 'c'..)**" She yelled.**(So, just Blackstar, who may be there on a peace mission to talk to Firestar equals an entire clan attacking... Seems legit)** All the cats came out from there dens. She jumped on a cat and clawd **(And multiple 'e's in multiple places) ** him and he ran of.**(So the cat that's been an apprentice for about 1/5 of a day can defeat a plausibly fully trained warrior. So not powerplaying and doing impossible stuff)**

"Good job StarPaw!" FireStar called, "The last cat i new that culd fiht lik that was SandStrom. Your a good fihter!"** (I'm not even using spell check and I can tell half the stuff in this sentence is spelled wrong.)**

StarPaw was happy. She wus a good fihgter! Maybey this was wat the prophcy**(So, she's heard about the prophecy already. When where how and why?)** meant. **(I am doubting this poor child more and more.. Maybe*) **

thnkx and ples no more flams**(Flim flam?)**


	5. Traning Under The Star Thing

Chapter Three The Traning **(So legit, had powerplay battle and now we're training)**Under The Star **(You lost me at 'traning')**

OMGOSH GUkys im so sorry but SOMEONE glares at rainy days FLAMED ME AND I GOT REALLY HURT. OKKAY IF you dont LIKE thestor y you dont have to readit u know.**(Then where would I be?)**

Chapter Three The Traning Under The Stars **(Wasn't the last chapter number three? And since when did you learn to spell?)**

Shadowclan run from the camp. StarPaw smiled. Shed one! Noone cod **(COD?! SHE COD SOME COD FISH?! I LOVE COD FISH!) **hurt her family now .

StarPaw!" said FireStar. "Its time we train!" I want to show you how to fight!"

"Ok." Sad StarPaw happl;y**(Why is there an ellipse there?) **. "but yo just saw I culd fight, write**(I didn't know cats could write O.o) **?" "Well, ya." said FireStar. "But I wnted tol **(Tol? Is there a tol booth somewhere around here?[I know that's not how you spell it])** see if that was all you new."

"Ok." They went to the frost **(Frost what?_**togather and the other cats cleaned jp the bodies.**(What bodies? The bodies of the cats who didn't get an honourable mention in death?)** "Ok StarPaw" said Firestar **(Finally! None capitalized suffix!)**one they got their. "We'll start with how to dog."

"Cmon thas too easy!" yelled StarPaw **(Nooooooo) **. Shed just beat BlackStar **(With lots of powerplay) **she was ready for anything!

"ok Ok" mewled FiresTar, lets learn how to claw an oponit.**(*Sigh*)**

"Ya." Yowled Starkit**(Wait she's a kit again?) **. She jumped at FireStar not Giving hiM**(Why is there a capital there?)** time to attakc **(You found the 'c'... Just in the wrong place)**. "She hit his side he didn't move he was to surprise.d **(Why the period before the 'd'?) **she clawed **(I thought this was claws sheathed!)** him and he started bledding. **(Is that some sort of fancy new bedding?)** "wow StarPaw" he said ".Your doing awesome." "Really?" gaped **(Wait, is she staring at him now?)** StarPaw. She didn't think she was doing that god **(Since when do cats have gods? I thought they were ancestors!)** was she relly special like the porphesy **(Still spelt it wrong... )** meowed?

"Yes StarPaw." Snarled Firestar.**(So he's finally come to his senses and prepared to kick her out of the clan? Yay!)** "I couldnteven get away in fast enough. Only scourg **(She missed an 'e'...)** was did that before.,"

"OMGOSH**(Excuse me?)** REALLY?" asked StarPaw. Scourg?1**(Why is the number 1 here?)**? THE SCOURG? **(She missed two more here..)** She dherad so muchj **(I under stand 'muchj' but what does 'dherad' mean?) ** about him he was really evil and killed alot of cats. "I'M LIKE SCOURG? "I didnt mean it like that" FirePaw **(Ahhhhhh!)**sad fastly. "I ment you wer a good fighter. Its really cool." At that minute he thought to himself 'Starpaws so kawaii **(Kawaii? Since when did cats kawaii?)**look at her eys and her fur.

"Oh ok thanks." They trained floor awhile later StarPaw beat FireStar 8 times **(Wait what? MURDER!) **once she let him win to make him fel bettar and b y the last one she was alittle tired.**(Oh this is soooo not powerplaying)**

"Hey FireStar can we hunt now." Said StarPaw. "im kinda hungry."**(And it's not against the warrior code any more to eat before the queens and elders)**

"Oh we'll if you want." Firestar was disappointed he and; starPaw had been having so much fun. So they went huntng, StarPaw messed up a couple times but FireStar said it was okaysince**(NNNNGGHHHH)** it was only her second time (she'd had her first time when she was a littlekit **(I believe that would be 'little kit' with a space.) **and she and FireStar had snuck out together that's why he chose her as his apprentice_.**(I thought leaders were SUPPOSED to follow the warrior code!)**

Later that night StarPaw locked up at the stars. She and Firestar had'd so much fun this day. Theyd brung back enough food for the hole clan.

Locking upn at the stars she turned to her best friend, JazzPaw, and said, "Do you think well ever be up there."

"Ya totally." Said JazzPaww. "I mean youll be l,eader and I'll be depudy one day well have too!"

"Ya." Said StarPaw smiling she loved JazzPaw NOT IN THAT WAY U SICKOS!)**(Why would anyone think in that way but you? I do believe Erin hunter did not promote same-gender-mates) ** they were best friends. She loked **(Loki? Brother?)** up at the stars again and smiled and **(Why so many 'and's?) **fell asleep wit the Starcaln **(More Starcaln..) **voices whisper in her head.

REVIEW **(Surely she means reviews?) **R MY LIFE

(lol u like it Jazzy I mead you as kawai as I could(**(*Sigh*)**


	6. Starpaw becomes a home wrecker

Chapter For StarPaws decids**('Scuse me? What's a decid?)**  
flamrs ur all satanits!11 **(What's a satnit? And why are there 1's here?)** anyon who dosent like the stro is a staneist cause StarGIPaw has such a strng conecton with sTarcaln and thats why you dot like it, its cause u do ntlik JEZUS! **(if you're gonna be a Christian you should learn how to spell 'Jesus'...)**

"StarPaw wok up its tim 4 parole."**(Parole?! I didn't even know she was a problem child!)**

StarPaw opnd hr brite reinbow eys**(That is definately not natural... Both the eyes and the spelling)** and locked **(Wait so, who did she lock out?)** arund.

"Omigosh who wus tha!1!1"Sshe yellow.**(Yellow! The color of cat pee! The color of the sun! And what is with the word 'Omigosh' And why are there still 1's here!)**

"Its me GrayStipe" GrayStrip wisperd in her er. StarPaw gottedup.**(Gottedup? I gottedup for breakfast! I didn't gottedup for school!)**

"Omigosh Graystip what do u want!1 she yelped GrayStrpe locked at hr. "Wll u be my mat" hE ESked.**(Oh as if he didn't cheat on Silverstream enough already!)**

"OMigosh grayStripe thats so nic**(Nicholas Cage!)**!" StarKit scremed. "but FireStar alredy esked **(Wait since when did he even love her? And how do you 'esk' someone something?)** me."

"wel then hes jst an idot." **(Everytime I read this I get the feeling that he's talking while sticking his toungue out)**

y do u say tha?" yellED STARPaw GayStrip **(Wait, so Graystripe's gay?!)** locked **(What did he lock her in?)** at hr meanly. "i dont lik him" sqeakd GrayStripe he locked arund fastly. "hes a mean cat!

"OMIGOSH U MEAN LIKE SCOURG **(Your still missing the 'e')**?" STARPAW SHOCKED.**(Why the capitals after the dialogue?)**

"No ur much prtter **(What does that word even MEAN...!)** then sourg **(Buddyyyy I thought we talked this through!) **" said Graystripe **(Yyyyyyaaaayyyy!)**he licked her on the head I want u to be my mat **(Do cats even know what a mat is?)**." he yeleled **(Sounds like some sort of Thai food)**.

"Well mabey. but what would FireStar **(Noooooooo!)** say?" she wispereed **(That some kind of Russian beer?)**. GrayStripe locked around agan. "I dont think he wuld mind." said GraStri;e**(Nice try buddy)**

"OMIGOSH SUR THAN!" StarPaww yelleded happly.**(Ok, I'm an apprentice, want to become mates with a cat who already has a mate and kits. I'm so not a home wrecking w[Following content is blocked for the safety of young users])**

"Wat ar uo ta;kin abut" said FireHert **(I thought it was Firestar!)** he was walkin up. He locked **(Whats with all the locking each other up in places?!) **angrily.

"oh uhhhh nuthin FireStar go back to sleep!" mwled StarPaw hoppin he would leaf **(Leaf, I'm going to leaf you alone!)** so she culd be alon with grayStripe.

"Yah FireStra theres nithing to wory about!" cherrid **(Cherrid? The heck is a cherrid?)** GrayStrpe but Firestar didn't leave insted he said i thought I herd you asking her to be our mate."

"oh uh yeh. yELLED STARPaw but he didn;t leaf **(So many 'leaf's) **instead he jumped on GrayStripe!1!11 **(OK BUDDY, CUT IT OUT WITH THE NUMBER 1'S)**

"I Want to be wit **(What, is she smart or something?)** her!" said FireHart **(Firestar* LEARN THIS ALREADY!)** attakin GraySriep.

"No I do!" shouted. **(The only near perfect sentence in this book... *Faints*)**

"guysys stop fihting you can BOTH be my mats **(What? So she can step on both of them?) **! StarPaw wispered apply like seCert."

"No we can;t do that their can only be 1!11 **(Seriously buddy, stop with the 1's, it's starting to annoy me) **Howled **(Why is he screaming?)**Firestar. "Otterwies **(Otterwies, better go get Otterwies before he eats everything on the kill pile)** youll chet **(Heck yeah she'll cheat on you)** on us."

"So StarGleam**(Wait, what! I thought she was Starpaw! Why are apprentices thinking about mates anyway?!)**, who will u pik**(Pikachu! Pikachu! Pikachu!)**?" giggled **(What, has Graystripe really become gay?) **GayStipe.**(*Points gun at the sky*)**


	7. Choose neither of them

Chapter Five Untidles  
UR OLL JUST SAINTS **(Why, thank you) **y cant u just except jEsuss**(Close but no,)** it wold mae ur life so much mor engoyable u would never haf to worr/ again** (I don't get payed enough for this)**

StarPaw sad "I..i….." she was so foncusded**(Foncusded? What the heck does that word mean! Or is it just some lake in Mongolia?)**! Thes to cats hard asked her to b there mates an wht was she supops to do? They we beoth handsome and althing**(Althing, Althing Althing Althing, quit trying to mug me.) **, but bot had matss **(Yeah I get that they both have mats! Don't need to tell everyone what they already know!) **! Nhd she luvved **(If I'm not correct I believe that is spelt loved)** them both! FirstAr **(Firstar? Who's Firstar?)** wus so kind and he oviusly likked her allot. GayStirpe **(Man I really am beginning to doubt the fact tha Graystripe is straight..)** was so funny and col.**(Pick neither)**

"!" said StarPaw ass **(I didn't know this story promoted swearing... If I had I would've left it where it was, too late to turn back now)** she ruan in to the forest. It wus to muck# **(Muck with a hashtag, kid you have problems) **she culdnt choss!

She run and ran and run til ur paws her hurtinged. Hen she rrellized she corsed the broader** (How do you corse a broader? Gotta ask this kid how,)**. Oih no she thugh **(Wait she's a thug?! HELP STARPAW'S A THUG!)** Shadowclan will get me. "wut are you ding here?" sd BalkStar **(Wait when did Blackstar get all balk!)** s he waked up.

"I'm sorry!" mewoed StarKit **(I thought she was an apprentice! Kid you're confusing me!)** I didn't men too!'

That's ok" sed blackStar. "no wons **(Who won what?) ** perfeck **(Is this a substitute swear word? Because if so this should be sensored!)**.""no that's not true." Said StarPaw, offed. "StarClan **(YAY!)** is.""Waht do you mena?" wemed** (WHAT ARE THESE STRANGE WORDS!)**BlackStar.

"well the give us all this halpand stuff" said Starpaw. "without them we wold be lust** (Lust? Oh god... Mum you should'nt have let me..)**." She said.

"I gess that's ter " balkcStar said, "besid I didn't relly mean that neway.**(Translator please!)**

"o really why?" said starpaw. "becus yo **(I didn't know cats knew about the word 'yo' )**are."

'WHAT' YOWLED sTarpaw jumping away BlackkStarTried to nugle **(Nugle? Is that a word for mug? DID HE MUG HER?!)** her. "WHAT ARE O TRIG TO DO MOLE STRAEP **(I'm going to go with 'Mole strap')**ME?1?"

"e—" BlakStar **(Buddy, Buddy buddy buddy, seriously, stop missing letters)** started too expaln, but, StarPw wass to quick

"no" she Sid "I don't doned **(Wait so she WANTS three mates?!)** another tom after me!" "I got enog porbelms arigt now anywy! **(Please tell me this guy wrote this at 2am on a Saturday)**

"but yor pahfect **(Pahfect. Bubba your so 'pahfect')**." Said Blackstar. "you betted **(Betted? Who'd she bet on?)** me in badle **(Badle? Is that a mispelling of 'Ladle'?) **you HAVE TO BE "

"NO!" shitted **(This is a bit more PG than I thought it would be..)** SarPaw **(Wait so she's Sarpaw now?)** Again runnin into the forst. Ters **(Ters? Is that some more of fancy hair product that I can't find where I live?)** ralled down her checks she was cyring. 'its too much" sahe though. "Starcalnb **(NOOOOOO!) **help me….!"**(*Throws cards around*... BULLSHIT!)**


	8. JayXStick is actually cannon

Chapter Six Desions,**(*Sigh* Here we go again,)**  
STUP GLAMING!11!** (Whats 'glaming'? Is it some kind of cake glaze? And for the 500th time, WHY ARE THERE 1'S HERE)** IF YOU'R AN **(An? I thought those were for vowels!)** FLAM,E YOUR A STNITS AND WIL BUN IN HEIKL! **(That sounds like something German...)**

LASTEST TIEM ON STARKITS PROPEHY:; **(Kid you're still spelling prophecy wrong, didn't we already talk about this?)**

"NO!" shitted **(SERIOUSLY DUDE, LET'S KEEP THIS PG!)** SarPaw **(Oh so she's Sarpaw now,)** Again runnin into the forst. Ters ralled down her checks she was cyring. 'its too much" sahe **(That some sort of Egyptian chair? I want one!)** though. "Starcalnb **(Starcalnb why,) **help me….!"

Afert tat StrPaw walkde thru the frost. She wus so depresedded! Hu was seh sapost **(Whhhaaa?) **to pik**(PIKCACHU C'MERE!)**?/?/ Then she saw JayFethre cumin thru the forst tords her. **(No comment... just no comment.)**

"JayFeathr im soooo confusedd wat do i do **(You learn to spell)** she yelled their are three toms atref me! TREEE!"! **(TTTTTTTRRRRRREEEEEE I LOVE TREEEEEEEEEEE)**

i know" sed jayFethr he locked **(Why's he locking his forbidden-problem-child daughter, and where's he locking her?)** happy. "thats good four you it menzz that p[eo[le like uo. he told he smilling.**(It also means that alot of people are idiots!)**

"NO NUT I LUV ALL OF THEM" sed StarPaw back waling**(Leave the poor wall alone!)** upst. "I DON'T KNO WHO TO [ICK!1!1" **(If you're gonna lick them why don't you lick all of them?! AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP WITH THE 1'S)**

"wel ten let me tel yo a stor.y said JayFeathern **(Mr. Intern? Could you please take these files down to the copy room? Yes thank you,) ** and he sat don. Onceu pon a tiem there were afew cats that I licked **(I bet you licked lots of them) **."

"hu where they sad **(Where they sad? I'm pretty sure they where sad)** StarPaw snifing.**(You mean sniping? Oh crap...)**

"theyre names were DawnSpark;e and... Stick/**(JayXStick is actually cannon...)** saud **(That some kind of sauce? And why would he be in love with a stick?)** JayFeather.

"OMG STICK wispred StarPaw **(So practical, using capitals whilst whispering)**"YOU WHERE IN LUV WITH A STICK?** (If she's whispering how come her dialogue is in capitals?)** She culdnt belief it. After al this tim she finds out that her fathe loved a sTICK**(Well, us readers knew for a long, long, time)**. SHE GAPD IN SHOC.**(Why the capitals?)**

"Wat did you do? she esked thoug **(HELP I'M BEING ASSAULTED BY STARPAW! SHE'S A THUG!) **cuase she was crios.

Wel I culdn have kids **(Ew, just plain ew)**with a stcik now culd i?" said JayPaw **(I THOUGHT HE WAS JAYFEATHER!)** and he locked confuded.**(You mean confunded?)** LIKE HE DIDN;T EVN KNO SHE WAS GNNA ASK THt qestn **(This guy, is just, I can't even say)**.

"sO YOU WENT WITH DAWNSPARKLE INSTD! YELLED STARpaw locking vry happi** (Happy*)**. "but that doesn;t help me what am I spost to do?/?

"Folo **( Folo wolo, fedo dedo) **youre hart **(Sounds like a tasty biscuit)** said Jayfeahr. "Who do yo want to be wit **(I don't think any of them are smart enough, neither is she)**/"

Hmm StarPaw taught **(Who'd she teach?)** for a secund. FireStar!" she yelldd**(Sure, let's take the guy who is happily settled with a mate and two daughters)** and then run of to tel him that she ;oved **(How do you 'ove' someone?)** him

NO FLAMSE!1!12!1**(WHY IS THERE A 2 THERE!)**


	9. Firestar has gone ape-shit crazy

Chapter Ate The Serimmony 1 **(WAIT SHE ATE SERIMMONY?! SERIMMONY I'M COMING FOR YOU!)**

STOP REVOFIGN **(Is a Revofign a type of fancy wine? Sounds like the stuff mum would drink) **BAD! but than u JASZpAW for tehh godo revewis uve ben levving **(Ben Levving? That some sort of celebrity I've never heard of?)**

StarPaw skided into de Camp. "FIRSTAR" SHE YOWLED "I ha to tel; uo somesting **(Somesting? Why would I need to get a sting?)**?"

"nut ow StarOaw **(Staroaw, I am your father!)**" he sadi "yuve gut to become WARRIOR **(She's only just become an apprentice D:)**!'

"MOGOSH **(The heck does 'Mogosh' mean?) **REALLY creamed **(CREAMED?! WHERE'D SHE FIND MY RABBIT?!) **StarPaw.

YEAH SAID firestar "Youv been a war **(I thought she was an apprentice..)** for onll 3.14 **(SEE! AND SINCE WHEN DO CATS KNOW PI?!)** dayss butt **(Butt? Whose butt?) **u are the best apent ice in the cAlan** (Calan! Go do your chores!)**. Ur perfect** (Not only are you perfect, but you're also a Mary Sue!)**. We ndd you to help dfeat BlackStar and ShadowclaN. And all teh other calns **(I don't believe that sentence)**. Tehy are tyring 2 attack us were in the meddle **(Who's meddling?) **of a warr. "

"omgosh WE ARE?" scremmed **(How do you 'screm' something?) **StarPal **(New form of PayPal? Seems legit) **she sus so surpissed **(Ewwww... Cat pee) **!

"Ya DustPelt **(What about Dustpelt?)** did while U were away in your walk Rivrclan attacked us**(Go Riverclan!)**." Said SandTrom **(Whats a Sandtrom?)**. She locked **(Yay! Sanstorm locked her up!)** sortaf sad she New **(Wait so we've gotten a new Firestar?) **FireStart lovved Stargleam** (BUT SHE'S STILL AN APPRENTICE!)**. But it wass ok she newt **(FORBIDDENKIT PUT THE NEWT DOWN) **wht wus best.**(YES! BEAT THAT WUSS UP!)****  
**

"OMGoht" sid StarPaw. "Quickk mack me a warrror** (Warrror! Warrror!) **!"

"Oak"**("And from this day forward, Starpaw the idiot cat that should never have been born shall be here on known as, Oak."-Firestar, while he was sane and correct in the head)** said Firestar. He wlaked up to StarPaw. "aLL Cats Gather Round Who Are Older To Cach There One Prey **(Politicly incorrect)**!"

"Tday **(I don't think we're Scottish) **we are making a new Warrior."**(NO!)**

The calnn **(Whats a calnn?)** GASPED!

"SarkPaw **(Who's this Sarkpaw? Never heard of her)**! StarPaw!: shouted the clan. They all new infancy **(What do babies have to do with this?) **it was she whom was beng mad **(Who's mad at who?) **a warrior.

Starpaw was so exited** (What did she exit FROM?) **! She'd never bin so hap inner life!

"StarPaw….." said FirePaw **(Oh great, we've gone back in time,)**. He was simile like shed never sent him simle behfore. "Are you ready to become a Warrior in the Name of Starcaln?:"

"Yes!" she shock3d **(I don't think the number 3 is supposed to be there)**.

"oak." Eh sad. "Then by the powers of Starclan, I gave you this narme. From now on, you will be none as StarPaw **(Why does she still have an apprentice name?)** for your pel which sings like the starss and ur conectin 2 StarClann. We onner you'r bravvery and" " kindness**(This guy has GOT to be drunk)**."

"SarkPaw! StarPaw!**(Isn't she a warrior? Or should I say warrror?) **: shouted the clan. They

StarGleam girned. She wass a Warrior! At least!"**("At least we're not all being controlled by her"- Said by the whole of Thunderclan before they went Ape-shit crazy)**

"FireScar **(I don't believe his name is 'Firescar')**," she said, cuming over 2 him. "I wanna tell u somesing **(I don't think her singing is any better than her intelligence) **." They locked sirously **(Sirius Black is here?! Where!)** at him.

"yeah wat is it?" he sad, hop shinning **(What? THE SHINNING?! HELP!) **in his eayres **(That some sort of new organ/body part we got?)**.

Dos**(Terrible server)** he knew? StarGlema think.**(Excuse mua?)**

"Firestar…." She brethed **(How do you breth something?)**. She cullednt she was actually dong **(*Cough cough cough cough*)** this after so lung **(What do lungs have to do with this?)**.

"I….."

WINDCLAN ATTAK **(You're still missing the 'c')**! Shioted a voise from obove **(What's an 'obove'?)** the Camp.

It was….**(The suspense is simply murdering me)**

HOLYLEAF!**(Why is Hollyleaf in Windclan? I thought she disappeared into the tunnels after Sunset!)**

I workd reall' herd on dis chapter n tired 2 spell good **(No, you didn't you worthless besom!)** so plzz review NICE! **(Righhhttt. You tried Realllyyyy hard)**

**A/N**

**Okay guys, I'm going to start updating in little groups. Though, maybe not for awhile. Life is getting hard for me and right now.. Well... Right now I just puked my guts up into my toilet.**


	10. Tiggerstar

Chatter NEIN**(Yay! Are we going to learn Russian?!)** Teh Evil Tigger and holY**(Oh that's so obvious)**  
I SAID NO FLAMES! YOUR JUST JELOS **(I'm not 'jelos' in anyway, I'm glad I can actually write) **YOUR GOING 2 HEL LJESS **(Who's Jess?)** IS OYUR SAVER **(I respect your beliefs, but why must you force them on us?)**

"Ohno its HolyLeaf** (What's so holy about her?)**!" yelled FireStra he ranned away. SandStrom **(Who is this Sandstrom? Some Star Wars character?) **wnet aftre him.

StarGlaem locked up. HolyLeaf **(I don't get it, why's she holy?)**was stnding their and their was anodder **(That some kind of snake?) **chat with hr.**(Waiitttt, so cats have discovered technology and learnt how to use it?)**

"OMIGOSH ITS TIGGERSTAR **(TTTTTTIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEERRRRRRR!) **!" she hossed. "WHTA WIL WE DO!"

"we figt." saud **(Mmm, sauce)** Jayfeathre and he ran at HollyLeaf. StarGlema washed as HolyLefa locked **(Why'd she lock her brother? I thought they loved each other![In that brother-sister kind of way)** at JayFather and kiled him with one shot**(Where'd she get the gun and WHY, WHY THE HECK WOULD SHE KILL HER BROTHER)**.

"YOU KILDED **(Hmm, Kilded, sounds like some perfume) **MY FTHER! she yelled and she attcked HolyLeaf **(I don't find her very holy) **. HollyPaw**(Wait, isn't she Holyleaf?) ** gut **(Who'd she kill this time?)** out of the way and StarPaw **(Isn't she Gleamstar? No wait, isn't she Stargleam?*) **attaked TiggerSar **(TTTTIIIGGGEERRRR!)**.

"U killed TigerStra!" uelled FiresStar he locked happy. "You are speshil**(Japanese sushi type?)**!"

StarGleam was sooo happy,**(Who wouldn't be since their a Mary Sue?)** she didng notse as HollyLea grabbed Firestar and took him way **(This is very odd, since isn't Hollyleaf a member of Thunderclan?)**.

"OH NO" yelled StarKit**(We must be going back in time)**. "WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM!**(Because a well seasoned leader was not able to defend himself against a warrior that is not very old)**

a cilf hunger1!111!**(ALRIGHT THAT'S IT *Rips your head off*)** see im a god riter **(Lies)** i no what thta id thx f4r the good revweiws JzzPaw**(Who is this 'Jzzpaw'? Oh crap... Logic save me)** && everon else WHOSE NIT A FALMER **(MORE LIES)**


	11. Hollyleaf dies

Chapter Ten The Recluse **(Hmmm... wrong word in sentence spelt correctly. Huh)**  
"EVERONE FALLOW **(Wait, when did my cousin get involved in this book? And since when does Stargleam-whatever I don't even care anymore- get the authority to o this?) **ME" meowled StarPleam **(Sewing machine item?) **as see charred **(HOW'D IT GET BURNED?! I DON'T KNOW HAROLD, I DON'T KNOW) **for th3 entranse to eh camp. Tares stremmed down her face1 she wuss **(Heck yeah she's a wuss..) **so sad her fahter had deid her leader was gunn **(Wait wha? FIRESTAR WAS TURNED INTO A GUN?!)**. "FLAMEPAW LAKEPAW DUSTPELT **(Who has apparently come back to life) **MOM LOINBLAZE FALLOW ME." She said. "I NEDD**(NED?! NED'S HERE?!)**A PAROL **(I thought the court cleared this with her..)**."

The run into the frost **(But...But it isn't leafbare!)** their pass working fastly **(Pretty sure she means quickly)**. She wood**(How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?)** kill HolyLeaf **(WAS SHE DIPPED IN HOLY WATER OR SOMETHING?) **and TigerSar **(What's a Tigersar? Is that some sort of ancient Nazi technology?) **for what thed don!

She batlecried using his nose to tar **(Tar pit?! EVERYONE EVACUATE!) **down the evill cats. Her heat burneded**(*Cough cough cough cough cough*)**!

Sune they had funded them. They were hidnig bwhind a bolder. **(To think she would've found a better hiding spot)**"HAHAHAH" LAUGHED HOLylesf **(STILL don't get it) **putting er claw on FiresTarS thort**(New brand of fish?)**. "IVE GOT YOU KNOW**(SHE KNOWS WHAT?! *Dials 911*)**!"

StarGleam gasped. "noooooo Fireheat!**(*Cough cough Firestar, cough cough*)**" she scemmed **(Hmmm, fancy word for candy?) **"FalmePawgo**(Sureee send the inexperienced apprentice ahead when you have experienced well seasoned warriors with you)**!" she said.

Flamepaw hurled **(Did she vomit?)** at HolyLeaf **(I JUST DON'T GET IT ALRIGHT,)**. Hollyleaf laked **(What lake again? Lake Bieg?)**at her in suprise. "What how could they have fallowd me." She dogged**(HOLLYLEAF YOU TOO!)** at Flamepaw her blue eys fallshig**(New pillow brand?)**.

"NO FLAMEPAW" whaled**(Who brought the whale from where again?)** LakePaw seing her sisters **(SisterS? With an 'S'?)** about too die. "I LOVE YOU FALMEPAW."**(Herm)** She yowled jumping herself **(Remove the 'herself' and you'll be fine) **in front of HOlyLeaf**(I JUST DON'T GET IT, ALRIGHT?!)**.

HollyLaffs **(Look who's laughing now!)** paw cutt into hir throt**(Fishy fishy?)** blood came out LakePaw felt down.**(Erm what again?)**

"NOOOO!1!11**(I'll never be able to reason with this child will I?)**" StarPaw **(Going back in time again) **screamed. "FLAMEAPWWW!" She ran for HoltLeaf **(HOLTleaf?! WAS MADISON TURNED INTO A CAT?!)** but it wass no us. LakPaw **(She did lack a lot of things for instance she lacked intelligence)** was dyeing**(When did she learn to tai-dye?) **. "I lofe you StarGleam**(Who's enforcing this now? No wait she's her sister, I think)**." She wisperd before er blue I's **(Are we in first person now?)** cosed.

"NO WAKE UP LAKEPOOL**(Apparently she gave her sister an unauthorized warriors den. POLICE! ARREST HER!)**" shoited Stargleam-she was so sad and depersed** (I wonder what that word means... *Starts flicking through a dictionary)** she was cyring!**(Apparently all sentences in this book make minimum sense to those with a normal IQ level)**

"hahaha" laughed HollyLeaf**(Yayyyy,)** evil. "u just dunt gedot d o you Im one of teh Tree**(Hmmm... I don't think she's one of the three, child you must read further and I DEFINATELY think she's not a tree,)**! I have pows beyound ur emaginating**(What does 'emaginating' mean and why are we using shortened versions of 'you' and 'your'?)**!" nd then…. She turned in…. A BARE**(MARY SUE! POLICE!)**!

"Gasped**(Apparently the author thought this was appropriate)**" gasped everyone. It was a bare**(NAKED BEAR?! TIME TO SKIP!)**!

"IM A SHAPSHITTER**(*Cough cough* Shifter *Cough cough*)**!" siad Hollylea joyly.

"stargleam." Said FalmePaw cryingly.**(That's a word now?)** "I nedd to go back 2 **(WHY ARE WE USING ABBREVIATIONS!?)**the damp**(What's damp? Your eyes or the lake?)**. I goat **(Hmmm didn't know cats knew about goats)**bury laekpaw**(Lackpaw*)**. Ive neverbeen out of camp before how do you get back**(Count on idiot Stargleam to take an untrained- un experienced apprentice to a battle)**!"

"U ju wak to te the est**(Didn't know cats knew about soda...)**. said StarPaw."

Thaks said FlamePaw crying she piced**(Misspelling of spice?)** up the LakePaw and putter**(Putter, trying to remember what a putter is)** on her back and run.

"nut so fast!" said Holyleaf**(Still don't get it)**! "Your not gunna get away that easly!" Wit a rar** (WinRAR?)** like an volcano erection**(*Cough cough cough cough cough***

Everone! Gasped!**(Apparently the author wanted a pause between the two words)**"NNNNNNOOOO." Yowled STarGleam as sumething lung and sarp pluned into her bk**(This sentence makes no sense what so ever to me)**. "YOU CANT GET ME THAT EASLY."

Everyone jumped at the HoBare**(*Cough cough cough cough*)**! The bare rared**(WINRAR?!)** in pane**(Pane what kind of pane? Window pane, glass pane?)**! Starepaw**(Woosh! We're still descending into the past as we have been for the last couple chapters!)** sent her teeth into its for. It rared.**(I can't make any sense of this)**

"oak oka" HolyLeafthe bare said. "i no know Your not guna be bettin that esliay."**(Mu goodness)** Suddenly she was a cat1 then her body dropped her eyes went drka**(So a perfectly healthy cat suddenly drops dead. Seems legit)** she was on the grund**(Nor can I make any sense of THIS)**. Suddly ther wass howl from the other side of the froste. It was LaFlamePaw**(Apparently Flamepaw is now French)**!

"LAKEPAW UR BACK!" SHE SAD**(I'm beginning to question why I'm doing this,)**

WHT SAID SPARGLAME**(THIS. IS. SPARTA!)**. Thenshe locked. It was LakePool**(Magic, illegal warriors name. Seems legit)**! She was runnin tord the forest starGleam was so appy. Then she sawyer**(Sawyer? Tom Sawyer?)** eyes.

THEY WERE OLLYLEAFS!**(Hmmm, who is this Ollyleaf?)**

the next chatter **(Who's talking now?) **wil coke**(Is this kid doing drugs or drinking soda?)** soon! AND STUP FLAMMING **(FLIM FLAM)**YOU HAETRS. YOU JUST DONT BELVE IN GOOD**(I believe in good. This world believes in good. The heck do you believe in?)**.


	12. Cats Can Cook

Catter **(Who are these 'catter's?)**1 The Fiht Aganst**(*Groans*)** the Sitters **(Her baby sitters?)**1  
"Oh nose **(GOT YOUR NOSE!)**!" yellded StarPaw **(And here we have a lovely specimen, Timetraveladdicticus, this rare species is addicted to going back in time and resuming it's child hood form.)** she wus so horrorifed**(New movie? Note to self: Find on Netflix)**. "LakePaool**(THERE SHE IS! ARREST HER!)** is buck **(Bucky Barnes?)**and seh is NUT OKA**(Oka from Seekers?)**!"

"Of coarse im not okay!**(Apparently being possessed doesn't affect her voice)**" LakeFall **(YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR TAKING THE CLAIM OF AN ILLEGAL NAME)**screchemd loadly **(*Cough*)** she issed at StarGlame. "I'm being posesd by HolyLeaf **(Don't get it) **wut do you THINK!" she yelddl and hulrd hesselv at **(*Begins jotting down notes to send to a doctor*)** StarPaw**(Please be quiet as we examine this beau-*cough* disgusting creature at it's height of activeness)**. StarGlme was so surpissed **(Who's dribbling all over herself again?)**she culdn;t mofe

Then... "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" **(This suspense is killing me! No... Litterally... I'm dying here)**It was...**(*Face corpse*)**

REDPAW! Redpaw runnth **(Shakespeare?)**over to StarPaw**(*Jeep noises*)** and jumped in font of herr and LakePolawm hit her insta**(Instagram? Note to self: Avoid these people on Instagram)**.

"Nuu Redpaw!" chked StarGlamea and she locked **(Why lock her in a cage?)** at RedPaw. "RedOaw are yu okayo**(Ohyou Gozaimasu?)**?" she esked **(More 'esking') **upsed. RedPaw cughed. "No im not but at leaat I sawed yuour lif!**(Redpaw your top priority is to get HER killed. Not dying SAVING her from getting killed!)** she sed and then he **(He who?)**did. StarFlame **(Who is this 'Starflame'?)** locked at RedPaw she wus so buttifly **(New type of butterfly?)** then StarGleam shock her hud. "No Im STRREET!**(I'd like the address of the person who named a street after you. I'll be beheading them shortly)**" she taught **(*Rips Stargleam's teaching license to shreds* No... Just no.) **madly. "but now what do we dao agant LakePaw!" she lucked up. LakePaw was runnen toward Loinblzx and she was WIDESPED!

"NOWWWWWWW LIonHEAR**("Stargleam, I'm dead. Oh and you're prescription has expired just so ya know,")**!" wisprd StarGalem and she ran towed LionBlaze and she hit LakePaw, who did to**(Did what?)**.

"StarGlame I will get u for thiss11**(STOP. JUST STOP)** sed LakePaw as SatinClaw **(Must have really soft claws then)**drag away to hellClan. He waswerng oink naie**(Whaa?)** Polish**(WHAT HAVE YOU GOT AGAINST MY KINDRED?!)**. then StarGlame stinted**(How do you 'stint' something?)** to crry as she realed that her sitter ass**(*Cough*)** ded.

"you killd my Subjt**(What's that?)**!" HolyLeaf **(I JUST DON'T GOD DARN GET IT)**rared **(WinRAR?!)**turng back in a bare**(NOOOO NAKED BEAR)**. "Ilus get you for thi!" she saud and then she rudhed at StarPlame**(That's where my sawing machine went)**. "Oh o!" yelld every1 "tarPaw got our of the Way!"**(I'm too old for this junk)**

Tim semd to slow danw as StarPawlem**(Does this girl know how to use a backspace key?)** run awy from the bare. But she ran left into... TIGGERSTAR**(Tigger? Pooh bear? Piglet?)**!"

"Fuhrstar!**(Who?)** yellded a TiggerStraw. "You ar gong to did now!" And he held out... SOME JEW!**(Let the racism begin)**

"Omg jyew!" elld FamePaw she locked at the yew. "But it wooden work becas thers a lizded on it." They all locked at the lizard. It wus a newt**(What does that have to do with anything...?)**. The nwt ran away.**(This makes no god darn sense)**

"... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled FamePaw. "Now the yew is gunna wkr!**(This never made sense to me in the first place)**

"Ete the yew!" sadi TiggerStar he thirst it at StarGlame StarGleam baked **(So cats can cook eh?) **away. "You're never get moi to ete it!" she esked and then she held "YOUE NEVER TOOK ME ALIV!"**(Neither does this. Take*)**

"are you so sur?" aksed TigerClar and then he lung at StarGlema and grabed her and ran away. "Youl never cathg me!1111 he laght meanly. "Im gong to Shadowcaln!" And then he luf. **(Very plausible, telling the whole world where your going with your hostage)**

Guyx I ben working relly hard on this wile I was gon**(I could scribble this load of shit in two minutes)**. im sor'ry for the wait**(You better be little girl!)**. Revew betetr and ill updat mor quick**(I don't get paid enough for this)**


	13. THE DEAD HATH RETURNED

Cahpter 12 The Sark Forest** (*Sigh*)**

"NO!" yewled StarKit**(Watch as this beu-*Cough* disgusting creature transforms from it's adult form into it's infant body)**. She run after TigerClaw**(Isn't he dead?)**. but he was to fat**(If he's fat wouldn't he be the slow one...?)**. She cudlnt catch up. Finly**(Finnly who? Finnly from my class?)** she stoped. She was so tried**(Tried what? To get everyone she knows killed?)** so sad, Teres begun to role down her face: her sitser was deed **(I give you the deed of murder) **and tigerstar had ExcapeD!

"y am I so ulsess?/?/**(*Face slam*)**' she dsked. "why couldnt i kill her**(Her who?)**?" "its not opur falt. Sadi a voice from bedide her. "WHAT WHOSE THEIR" SHE SAID JUMPED**(*Face corpse*)**.

It juts me. " said JayWing**(YOU. ARE. DEAD.)** waking to bedside her. "Yo couldt kill im becas u're nut dead."**(I believe several live cats killed dead ones in 'The Last Hope', please revise accordingly)** "what" said StarGleam "What dlo you men."**(Why. Just why...)**

"hes in the Dakr Froset**(IT'S NOT LEAF-BARE!)**!" said JayFeather**(YOU DIED TWO CHAPTERS AGO!)**. "hess allready ded!" oh no what do I do thouth**(SHE'S TRYING TO MUG ME!)** starGeam.

"we can go to teh Dark Forste**(We have two forests now,)** but its ver danger." Mewled Jayfeater. "tack**(My pleasure! I'll tack you to the front of my house and leave you to die!)** me their**(Their who?)**!" sad StarGleam.

She slepped**(When did she sleep?)** and then they were in the Fark Forest**(*Cough*)**. It was dark. Here was no mono 2 lighte the way and it wass heard to see**(As if that weren't obvious...)**. They herd voices! It wass TiggerStar**(The real villain..)**!

"ok tjen well kell her ND invade Thundercaln"**(This... I can't even begin to describe my frustration)** he was said. "WHAT NOO!" said StarPaw**(Watch as this filthy beast transforms into it's hairy, disgusting adolescent form. Do not approach whilst it is in this stage)** she jumped at him. she was aboot**(Aboot? Like the boot of a car? Like the one I hid in for an hour while my friends thought I went home?)** to hit him when BlackStripe**(Who's he?)** was there! "TIGERSAR**(THE NAZI'S ARE HERE. THE NAZI'S ARE HERE. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!)** WATCH OUT" said BlackStrip. TierStar loocked at her and he clawed hr**(*Lots of frustrated yelling*)**. It wasnt fare**(What kind of fare? Toll fare? Ticket fare?)**!

StarGleam fell to the ground blood was cuming **(*Cough*)**from a wand**(Don't tell me she's magical too...)** on her sholder. It was a lot of red blod**(Perhaps she thought that with the fact that she had orange eyes she might have had blue or green blood)**. HawekFrost Looked at her. She was so buetiful so kawai**(What the heck does that mean?)**, he was thought just like FirStar. He loved her. He had to save her.**(Sooooooo out of character)**

He jumped in TiggerStar! He bit him! But it wa s to lat.**(*Face wall*)** StarPaw was dyeing**(Dyeing what? Shorts? Shirts? Underwear?)**. "it was turning balkc**(She doesn't have balk...)**. "I love you seh said as she did.**(*Face universe*)**

AND THEN STARGLEAM WAS DIED!11!111!11111!1!11!**(Apparently the author thought this was necessary)**


	14. Starclan is STUPID

Cahpter 13 The Metang **(Dragon type?) **wit Sartcaln**(I can't even vent my frustration on this)**  
"Omigish**(*Lots of sighing and head banging*)** what happnd! shrekd StarPaw. She looked arung. "am I in Starclan**(SHE GOT IT RIGHT!)**?" she eskes when she say the cats that she new.

"No of cours not your in the Daek**(Does she mean Dalek? DALEK FOREST? SAVE US!)** Forest!" gagged**(Who gagged who?)** a gray he-cat**(Are we calling toms he-cats now?)**. StarGlame locked around windly for TiggerStar but she culd;nt sea him. "Yes your in SatrCaln**(*Rips out her hair*)**! said the she-ca. It was YellowFang**(Wait so Yellowfang is a guy now? Seems legit)**. "Wher else wood**(how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood!) ** you be?"

"Yuo dont need to be so red**(YOU'RE red!)**! said StarGlame she was mad."**(Am I the only one who can't make sense of this sentence?)**

sorry said YelllowFang **(Why the hell would Yellowfang apologise to some snot-nose m[The following content is blocked for the safety of young users])**but that made me made."

"its ok" said StarGleam. "but i was in the sark forest**(*Head banging*)** so...HOW DID I DYE**(GET AWAY FROM MY CLOTHES YOU PEICE OF FILTH)**?

"TigerStra killed you**(That sentence nearly made sense)**" said BlueeStar cumin**(*Cough*)** over to her. "he can send cats to starcaln even from the drk Foret"**(Who what now?)**

"Wait so then I'm died**(YES YOUR DEAD YOU BLOODY IDIOT)**?" StarGlame. "What do i do no? I cant safve the frost like this!**(You saved the forest by dying)**"

"That why we aer gong to send you bak to Thnduer clan!" saud WhitStrip**(Who is this Whitstrip? I do not know of him)**. "But we also have somsing very imptent to tell you first**(*Climbs in a jeep and prepares to run over*)**."

"Omg **(CATS DON'T KNOW WHAT OMG MEANS)**what is it" lauged StarPaw**(IT'S CHARGING! RUN FOR THE ROC KS IF YOU LOVE TO LIVE!)** she stinted to jump up and down with joe**(Joe who? Joe Bob?"**." "I wnat to knew**(*THrows her laptop out a window*)**"

"wel their are ten thigs we ned to give you before you goe" said LeafPool**(You. Are. Not. Bloody. Dead.)** and she gave StarGlame 2 rocks with writting on them**(*Torches down a city*)**. "their the ten commons**(Ten common what? Ten common reasons to kill Stargleam?"**!"

"OMG THE TEN COMMONDENTS**(Oh shista)**" squelled StarGleam and she was so exited**(Exit what, exit the road of sanity?)**. "I GET TO HAVE TEN COMMNDMENTS?**(*Head rock*)**"

"Ya" said Bleu**(Cordan bleu?)**Star "we need to give them to the calns but they wont liten**(They have every reason to not listen to this mucked up s-)**. Thats why we nedd you to do it four**(Arrrgghhhh)** us!"

"Okay" said StarGlame and she left Starclan talking the rocks with her**(I can't even express how much I want to rip her fingers off)**.

**A/N**

**Eeeekkk. As I forgot to add in the previous chapter.**

**Hey guys, I'm sorry I haven't actually been updating very often. School homework and what not in the life of a teenager.**

**I'll attempt to promise and try to update sooner. Best wishes from yours sincerely.**

**Toodles!**


	15. The 11 commons

Chapter Fortene The Ten Commdaments**(*Frustrated screaming*)**  
Stargalme come down in2 thunderclaln camp. It was dark. Their were no cats otusdie. "SLL CATS GATER" she sadi**(Why the heck would they listen to a stupid bloody warrior who bloody died)**. They cats gatehred. "I have Tebn Conmondants frum Starclam/"**(IDIOTACLAN YOU MEAN?)** she said. The cats gapsed. The started to mummur. "be quite" starGleam sad. Tehy were quite.**(*Marches down stairs to go find her sword*)**

"here she said pushing th3 roks foreword. **(Oh how I wonder how I'm going to last thirty more chapters of this junk)**"Loack at the them. Yu must fallow these commodents fur your hole lifes if you wnt to ge5t into Starcan.**(Idiotclan*)**" She said. They loked at the roxk**(What's a roxk? Moshi monsters?)**.

"1. thou shat not belive in other goIncesters **(Here we go again)**

2. Dont make any picturs of anyhing and warhip them.**(Cat's can draw and take photos. Seems legit)** If ou do ai will punsch you an ur grankits**(Why the grankits? Why the innocent kits that did nothing wrong and have to be punished because of this stupid. STUPID thing.)**.

4. don't say Starcclan in vane. **(Oh my Starclan! Woops!)**

5. Work for 6 days and worshipe me on 1.**(*Head air balloon*)**

6. Repsect our mom and dad.**(Our? Oh hail no! I'm not your kin in ANY way!)**

7. Dont kill otters unless in batl.e **(I WOULD NEVER KILL AN OTTER YOU SICK SICK PERSON)**

8. don't br unfateful to our mat.**(*Glaring*)**

9/ Dotn steel things from he other cland.**(Steel? Steel monkeys?)**

10. Dnt lie aboot yiour nieborgh.**(Cats can have neighbours?)**

10. Don't be jelos og your neiborgh.**(*Heaves a big giant dictionary over to 's house***

11. No BENG GAY!f**(*Sigh* Here we go, anti gay rights supporter)**

The cat GAPSED. "Im sorry" said DaysPow. "ive ben a sinner. **(The heck have you done to sin?)**Ill do better next time!" Al the cats agred. **(NO. JUST BLOODY NO.) **StarPaw was happy! Teh were aon the write pat! If hey fallowed Sartclan thay woud neber go wong!**(Idiotclan* You're all going the wrong darn way. At this point I'd rather go to the dark forest!)**

But suddenly she saw somesting! It was….. REdpaw and LakePaool KISSING**(Hmm, let's make like a twoleg and kiss!)**


	16. KILL IT WITH FIRE

Cohpter Fiften THE TURTH**(What truth? That the Darkforest was posing as Starclan?)**  
StarGlam marced ofer too RedPaw and LakePaw she looked angrily. "WhT DID I JUTS SAY?/" she esked. "The elfenth commonment is NO BEING GAY!11**(FUCK OFF BITCH! [Excuse the language])**

"But I love her!1" said LakePol.(a/n. EW!11 THIS IS DIGUSTING)**(LOVE IS FRICKING LOVE)**

"But its agant the ten commdnents!" saud StarPaw**(*Guts Stargleam/paw/whatever*)**. She wanet over and thurst herslef betwen them. "Do you WANT to go the dark foret?"**(YES I DO MR. ARSE HOLE)**

"Yes?" ansed RedPaw.**(I like this girl)**

"No you dont" said StarGleam "it'sa relly horribld place." I kno, Ive been their!**(*Swearing and cursing*)**"

Were sory said RedPaw and lakePolw. They locked sadly. "We wont do it agan."**(This is just a book to support anti-gay thingies isn't it?)**

"I hope not" said StarGlame turng around and walkin back to FireStar. "We have to show this to the rets off the calns.**(*Sigh*)**

"ok said FireStar" "we should go to the Gathern."**(Ok, full moon just when you want a gathering, happens every other day.)**

"If we go to the Gathern then I can shoe off the commendments to the other claans1" gagged **(LET IT KILL HER) **StarGlame happ;y. "Cmon lets go!" She ran of not wating fro any other cat and then she was at the Gathern!**(*Sigh*)**

"ATENSION ALL CATS" she yelled lepping to the HighRock. ?"I NEDD YOU'RE ATTENSION I HAVE AN ANNOUNCER"**(Announcer for what? My permit to bring death upon you?)**

"Omg what is it!11!1" shocked MitsyFoot.**(Flubbaflubbaflub)** "Is it imptent!"**(*Face boulder*)**

"Yes of cors its imptent!111!1"! yellded StarGleam **(YOU'RE NOT EVEN SOMEONE OF FRICKIN IMPORTANCE)**"or else I wuldnt be hear!" "I have the ten Commandmeonts and you need to kno what they ar!**(Stargleam the frickin idiot cat has something so say, big deal)**" She red the ten commons ot to the other calns and theny all bowed down to her**(*Holds up a shot gun and begins shooting*)**. Thank you for teling use SarkGleam they said happly." "We sont sin again!**(Mom said if you have nothing good to say then say nothing at all)**"

"God**(*Cough cough cough*)**" said StarGleam she jumped form the HighRoke.**(Oh so all the clans just came to Thunderclan camp? Seems legit and totally realistic)** She saw FireStar cumin threw the crowed towed jer. "StarGlame you are a much beter cat then me at this1 you should be letter**(I want to rip this girl's fingers off and shove them down her throat)**. Im not deid so ill go join the eldlers insted!" he said and he tuched his noise to StarGleams. "You have to go to the MonStone today to go get your nien lives. Ill go with you and so will JayFather.**(HE DIED YOU BLOODY IDIOT)**"

"Kawaii**(I don't even bloody know what that word means...)**" said StarGlema happly. They left the Gathern and all the cats were cherring for her,**(*Shooting noises*)**

So hod u guys lik eit? **(No, I don't and since I'm a gay rights supporter I'm very disappointed in you)**it wass so didsuting 2 rite the gya part**(*Aims her gun at this chic*)**. HBut thigs are guna be better no inteh clams!**(Clams are tasty... Unlike you, you taste like shit.)** Also if ur a bad reveiwer u dont belive in Gosh ull go 2 hekc. thx guys for the god reveis. !**(Yeah yeah yeah, heck smeck)**

**A/N **

**Hey guys..**

**I more or less hit a rough spot in life this afternoon.**

**During Softball, my right leg literally collapsed beneath me so my mother took me to the hospital.**

**Apparently I'm diagnosed with some disease that makes me in-able to walk properly.**

**Guess that more or less explains the limp I've had since I was ten... Anyway, it just primarily means that I walk with a limp that'll most likely never go away.**

**It also means I might have to give up sports D:**

**I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP ON SOFTBALL.**

**OR FOOTBALL.**

**OR BASKETBALL FOR THE MATTER.**

** I JUST WANNA KEEP ON PLAYING!**

**Toodles!**


	17. The Nine Lives That Never Should've Been

Chaper Sixteen The Nane Lifes**(*Piles up a bunch of chairs in front of a door and begins to pour gasoline over them*)**  
But suddenly as SatyrGleam was leafing**(I WON'T leaf you alone!)** theri was a nose from the bushs and Shadwclan spring out!2!**(So legit, Shadowclan attending a gathering and then magically ** their was TailPoppy LittleCold, RedStrom OwlPad SchorcWind (there from the Alliances I mad them warrior they don apear in the books) **(This just makes me sad,)**and CeaderGeart, and Twanypelt & RustFur, all of BlacStars bets warriors**(*Cough* Littlecloud = medicine cat *cough*)**. StarGleams malting orange swammed with suprise. What ere they going t do? "StarGlaw" said Blackstar sadly. "U cant becomed leader then it will be inblossble for us to have kitsss!" jhe said.**(Sooooo not out of character and breaking one of the most important rules in the warrior code)**

"Ive got to do BlackSrar its my detsiny." You cant fihtg feat.'**(No, your destiny is to die alone in a hole while being slowly roasted.)**

"No!" he meowled. "I don't want to loose you!"**(HECK YEAH YOU DO)** "Its oky" sad FireHeart he was called that new sinch**(What's a 'sinch'? o3o, sounds like some medieval torture device) ** he wasnt ladder**(Ladder? What ladder?)**, he hadnt leafed yeat. "Ya" sad GaryStripe**(Gary! You've gotten jelly racing stripes all over your face!)** "we lofe her to"

"ok" sad BlackStar sadly. They wacked**(WACK HER IN THE HEAD WITH A MALLET)** away. StarGlem was glad, she had anew love. Se didnot want 2 dell with this wright now.**(Love who? Some cat that isn't dear to me?)**

StarGleam mead LoinBalze her depudy **(Surely she means '****depute'?) **he take the clkan back to camp**(*Gets out her strangling gloves*)**. Her and JayFeather**(I can't even... Ugh)** and FireStar walked to the MoonPool. "I cant belive it sadi StrGleam**(No, you should be believing how much of an idiot clan Starclan has turned into)**. "I can." Said JayFeater he was smelling**(What's she smell like? Rotten eggs? Sweaty gym socks? SKUNK?)** StarPaw almots gasped shed never seen her father smiel befour**(That's because you ruined his life by making him into the idiot Shadowclan betrayer and took him aweay from Half-moon, his true love)**! "Your a grate leddar StarGleam ive always none since the first day I saw yo."**(*Head smashing*)**

"Relly." She aksed. "Relay,**(Relay race?)**" he said. She smiled to for teh firts time in a log time she was really happy!**(No, you should be downright sad, you're turning Thunderclan into an idiot clan that will die out within the next year)** Shed had someny toms chating after her but now this would be Oka**(OKA! TOBY! HELP!)**!

They were closed to the MoonSnot**(*Unsurpressed giggling*)** now. StarGleam was startig to gut a litel nervis. Wha if starClan didnt like her?**(Oh they HATE you!)**

They went ot the MoonPolo**(Sorry girl, I don't play polo)**. It was a shinny; rotund poll. StarGlean had never sen enythin so buetifly inner life befor. "im so produ of you," said FireTar his gaze tinkling. StarGleap purSmiled and liked the warter.**(Oh wow, she'sa in love with water, how interesting)**

It was dark!**(OF COURSE IT'S DARK! YOU CLOSED YOUR FREAKIN EYES!)** StarGel am opened erh eyes and she was in a froset. Then there weas lots of stars. 'like me' **(No, they're much better then you, you deserve to go to the darkest depths of Tartaurus and rot there for all eternity)**she thoguth lokoing at the star in her foreheed**(Let's defy physics and look at our foreheads!)**. Then they shinned brighter and there were cats! lost of cats and they were ver starry. Starclab!1!11!**(#STARGLEAMGOESKABOOM)**

"Are ou reedy" shouted on of them frob the front. "yes sad starKit whe was turbling with exitmente!**(This is why I get myself nice and drunk before I start any of this junk)**

"ong of them came up. It was a blue cat. 'Bullstar'**(Who is this 'Bullstar'?)** wispered StarGleam ahstruck. "With this live I gave you liedership said BleuStar puttinger noise to StarGleams. It hurtd! **(Good for you, you good for nothing twit) **BlueStar wakled away StarGleam wandered ho muck more of this she cold tack it hurt so much she terbled.**(*Sharpens her knives*)**

"With this life I give you corrage**(Surely she means porridge?)**" said YellowFag storling up to StarPleam. It hurted like neddles**(Cats know what needles are, so legit)**!1

BambleCalw**(Who apparently didn't get the worthy mention of his death or how he died)** came nex. He put his mose on StarGleam's forehed. It hurt lick TiggerSTars class!**('Nuff said)**

WithStorm stambled over next. "Woth this lift. I give you strenth. Us it well to pertect your clan."**(Why, just why)**

LeaveWind**(Who is this person? The author comes up with such terrible names..)** cam on to her. "Wit this life i give u nolledge**(Don't have much yourself)**." It hurt like fier**(LET THE PAIN KILL HER)**!1

She god a liff rom BundleFace form motherlinest **(No. Just freakin no)**a life from TailStar for qiickness, & a life for StoneFur for bravvery. **(SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ANY OF THESE CATS) **She was shacking she didn nok if she cold mack it!**(LET IT KILL HER)**

And then… frorm the cord…. came…. A LINO!1!11!1**(*Sigh* As if we didn't have enough powerplay in his story)**

SatrGleam GASP! "This is ThunderStar**(Thunderstar is actually confirmed to be a cat by the name of Thunder)**" mowed TallStar. He was the first ledder of Thunerclan! OR it was called LoinClan**(Lionclan is clan myth, thank you, good bye, learn something you smhuck)**."

StarPaw coudnt breath?**(*Blank TV noises* That's the sound of her brain!)** She was so exited and so onered!**(He's gonna kill you!)** "I cat beliv its relly you ThungerStar **(Who isa this 'Thungerstar'? The creator of a line of underwear?) **she said in ah. "Its meh" said the lion. He toched his mastiff **(No, sadly I do not own a black mastiff) **nose to her nose and the pan was worst than ever befor!**(Ooooohhhh I like where this is going)** StarGleam thougth she would de! "With his life I give o HEAR. You have a realy strong heat bfour but is even stornger now,**(That makes no darn sense...)** thank you for giving comandaments to the Calns. Wath would Starclan**(Idiotaclan* Starclan doesn't exist any more, it's been turned into a clan of idiots by Darkrose whatever)**

doo witouth you Now I will giv you a namr."**(Huh?)**

"Wat!" shotud StarGleam ass he opened his moth. "I donk want my bame to be StarStar that would be stuped! I want to be called GleamStsr!"**(Yes it would be stupid, like this entire book)**

"Fery well" said LionStar doping his head he wold lisent to StarGkeam she was specal. I now pronunce you….. GLEAMSTAR!'**(*Sigh*)**

Butt **(Who's butt?)**as the cats begun to cherr, there was a dankness! **(Oh yes it IS dank!)**The darknest swolled everything! She could small BLODO!**(BLODO BAGGINS? COUSIN ON FRODO BAGGINS?)** Suddenly TigerStar and HolyLeaf**(I just really... Do not get it)** were there! In her vishon! She sa them tacking over the clans and ther was an arm of rogues and cats were deing!**(Oh that's good, they have actual sense)** And suddenly … … their was a cat suruonded by a godlen lite!**(Herm?)**1!1! It was… HACKFROST**(THERE'S A COMPUTER HACKER HERE? *Runs for her life*)**! He made all the bad stuff disapare.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!11!1!1!11!"**(SHE FINALLY REVEALS HER TRUE SPECIES)** yelled StarGleamStar**(Wha?)** walking up. She juts culdnt be in loe with HawkForest she just could!11!1!11!**(You never said you loved him in the first place...?)**


	18. Firestar becomes slightly smarter :D

Chapter 17 Returnr**(*Pulls self up to computer* "No... please... NO!")**  
StarGleam shock her head waling up from the derm.**(She mean dorm? If so I didn't know cats went to college...)** FireStar was looking at her and his gren eys where sorrid.**(A combination between sorry and horrid? No, my child, that describes Stargleam's eyes. Not Firestar's)** "GlaeStar you were takling in yuour slept are you ok?" he asked. JayFeather looked upsid to.**(Because he realizes how much of a frack up his daughter is and wishes he could go back in time and erase her)**

"Yeah yeah Im fin"**(JAKE THE DOG AND FINN THE HUMAN!) ** StarGleam reponded gettin up. "I just had a badd dream thass all." "It's nothen."**(That would be in the speech marks darling, :D)**

"If your sur." Said FireStrar and they left the MonoPool **(Place where idiots become leaders or a new casino?_ **and headed back too the Thundercaln camp.

"GleamStar your back!" they said happy, crowding all over her. **(NOOOO SHE BRAIN WASHED THEM!) **LakePaw and RedPaw looked sad**(THE DIVERGENTS HAVE EMERGED AMONG THE CATS! THEY SURVIVED THE BRAIN WASHING!)** thou,**(Thou is more stupid than thy. Thy is a smart ass :D)** becas GleamStarg has sad they cant be in luv.**(Love is love you mother fracker. Let them be together)** But GleamSar ingored them. But she new she had too do somefing more impotent.

"LinoBlaz" she said locking for her deputy. "I nedd you to tack a patrole tothe Sadowclan boulder," "I need you ro tell BlackStar im leder know."**(So many speech bubbles... And wouldn't Blackstar know since she FRICKIN' PASSED HIM ON THE WAY TO THE MONOPOOL?)** she said and she turnd and walked over the keader's den evwn though everone was trying to ask her questns about the serimy. "Guysz let me to to bed" she said shoeing **(YOU LITTLE BASTARD! FIRST YOU BRAIN WASH THEM AND NOW YOU THROW SHOES AT THEM?!) **them awy. /"Let me have a niche to myself!"**(Huh?)**

They all walked away groabling. "She nevwr let's us have any fun" said BeryNoise.**(I agree with whoever this 'Berynoise' is :D)** "Thats not kawaii at all."**(What does this have to do with cuteness?)**

GleamStar didnlt care sge was waiting for FireStar. Then FireHert came into her den. "I'm levving" he said and he lef.**(Because he gained some smarts! :D)** StarGleam followed him uyelling "WAIT!1!11 Where are you gong?"**(BONG! BONG! BONG!)**

"Well I cant be ledder so I'm just goint to leaf for a while. Maybe Ill be a rogue, or maybe I'll go join skyCaln. Who knows?"**(Nope, he gained some stupidity)** Then he luf. StarGamet was sad b/c **(Such abbreviation. Much wow) **that was her mentor and one of the cats she luvved leaving but it was ka since thass what he wanted to due.**(What?)**

"Its oka StarStar"**(I thought you said that name was stupid...)** said HawkFrot appearating out of nonwhere. "I mean I love you so its all god."**(Ok, Hawkfrost is dead and loves a bitchsquealer. Okay.)**

"I no" said StarGlea prring she wrapped her tail around HawkFrosts face she dint care that he was a rogue, she loved him. And now they could be togethier!/**(Cat you met for five seconds, loves him, is her mate, completely legit)**

**A/N**

**Why not me write a little extra for you lot? 'Cause I am now! :D**

**Anyway, before I tell you guys a story I've got to tell you that I'm probably not going to update as often because before. Nearly every chapter was just *Copy, edit, paste, copy, edit, paste, repeat* yeah... anyway. Hope you enjoyed that :D**

**And now! On with the story!**

**So, today I will be telling you the story of me and the little shit.**

**Alright so, I'm getting books and stuff out of my locker, talking to my friends and the little shit comes along and stands by my locker. When I stand up, he gets down on his knees and asks me to go out with him.**

**You know what I did?**

**I punched him in the fracking face and told him to get eaten by a lizard. :D  
**

**Moral of story: Never ask Mayra out if she calls you a frack face :D**


	19. The apprentice-deputy

Chater Eitheen The Deat 11 11 1**(Deat? What's a deat?)**  
StarKit **(DUCK DROP AND ROLL PEOPLE! BEHIND THE ROCK!) **weak **(Mentally or physically? I'm guessing both! :D) **up shed been asleep. Their was ayoll **(A what?) **from the capm! She run otides her den she junped of the HighRidge. "I gott to kill ou: somone sadi. It WA.S….. TIGEERSTAR!

"Ttlu.**(I don't understand text. Or whatever that weird language is)**" Said HollyLefa meanly from his**(WAIT WHAT?!)** ides. GLEAM STAR welled "GET OUT OF THE CRAMP EVERYONE" she coldu hander it heself.**(Because she's a giant frackin' Mary Sue)**

"No" said BarkFall "we elov you somuch StarGleam we could'nt leafe u" **(SHE BRAIN WASHED THEM. HELP!) **NAD THE CATS FOUT!**(For trout!)**

HolyKeaf turned into… a…. FUX**(Oh no... NOT A FUX!)**! GlameStar surpised. She jopped! But it was too latte**(Lattes are good when you're tired. Unlike you, you're bad.)**!1 The foz was an inc form her face when LinoBlaze apparetd! She clawed him**(WHAT? SHE HURT HER OWN DEPUTY?!)** They're was bold**(You're not very bold yourself...)**. "noooooo" said GleamStart. She was greif.**(THE LITTLE TROLL!)** Teras falled down her sparkling grey checks**(*Her disgustingly muck colored cheeks) **. The shoned like the sun on her spakling checks.**(*They shone like Tiny Cooper's vomit after he had puked)** Her reinbow eyes where glowed lick skys after rani..**(*They glowed like puke on a sidewalk)** It was beutifly thohth HawkForts.**(Hawkfrost then realized he needed a new brain)**

"its oyak StarGleam." said LionBealz. "I doe**(GET AWAY FROM MY RABBIT)** for you. it makes me gay whit hapyness."

"LIONBLAZE ARE YOU A….. HOMOSEZZUAL?/?/?/?2**(No! Gay means HAPPY you idiot!)**" said StG;eamStar. gasp. was here clan bevoming quare**(What?)**. Bet b4 he colde awnser he ded!**(Uuuuggggghhhhh)**

"NOOP"**(Ew!)** said GleamStar, "HE WAS MY BORTHERS FATHER I WILL AVENGE THOU**(Thy shalt crush thee!)**." She said. She lapped at HolltLeaf! **(Holy...) **HollyFale lagged and run "its to lare" she meowled "lock behind u"**(My head is fried)**

StarGleam looked. TiggClaw was scratching DAWNSPAEKLE**(Yay! Good job Tiggclaw whoever you are!)** she run up the he cat clawd him he ran aya**(What does my friend have to do with this?)**. "get pout of here Hacky-kin**(The hell that mean?)**" she sad its too danheros" "iie" 9meanes no) said**(Excuse me?)** Hawkyfrost. "I lobe you my daer I wan't live you."**(They brainwashed him as well! HAWKFROST BABY NOOOO!)**

But the cats weer goin. Tiggerstar lagged sadly.**(Nooooo! The good guy is lagging!)** "you mayt have defted ous this time," his said "but nest time well be STORNGER.**(I know not of STORNGER)**" Then he left. Then HolyLeag left. Then thuneer clan was saf!**(No! It's in danger! Staridiot will brain wash them further!)**

"since LionBleaze deid said Gleamstar I nedda new depudy. **(What? No mourning? No tears or being sad?) **JazzPaw cum hear. JazzPaw came. "JazzPaw I want make you in warrior. So you can bw my depduey." **(Sure, so not being an idiot and breaking the warrior code. Making a brand new apprentice a warrior and turning her into a deputy is totally legit.) **JaszPaw smieled! She was so happ**(Because she's an idiot!)**! "JazzPaw form now n youll be JazzSong. Also ur my depdy. Anyone have a problem with that?: **(Yes! I do! *Gets hit in the face* DIE BITCH! *Swings sword like a maniac*)**she was mean bcase she was sad~ no the cats said obdenintley. **(What?) **They new he **(So Staridiot's a guy now.. *Pukes*) **was sad. They ripsected it,, linblaze was her after all.**(Her what? HER WHAT?!)** besider mots of the cats thouhth StarG;eam was kawai **(Because they're brain washed) **when she was mad her eyes robbled. **(The frack does that mean?) **She and hawkFrost slept NOT LIKE THAT THERE NT MAKES THEY WOULD DO THAT YET DONT REMEMBER THE CMONDANTS?**(DUDE! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO FRACKING SUGGESTED IT!)**

Im sorr it tock so logn, but I think I did real god on hese chathers.**(My eight year old sister could do better ^-^)** I was tiered the last one was log **(This pisses me off so much...)**

**A/N**

**Alright people, sorry for no updating for so damn long. Forgive me? It was a real busy week, the teachers decided to flood us with homework. Though there's one good thing. I've got half term break! ^-^ Which hopefully means I'll get a chapter or two everyday. I'm going to try and update as much as I can. Okay people? Okay?**

***Poofs***


	20. WHO THE HELL IS FLAMESTAR?

19 The Mirage **(NO! I DON'T WANT THE HALLU- SHISTA THEY'RE HERE. SAVE ME!)**1!  
The nex mourni StarGleam wock up and HawkForost was still sleppin next to her.**(Damn gurl, did you really?)** She dint wnat to ake him so she letf he then and went to look for a bunch of ctas to go on parolt.**(Leader takes care of every patrol, awesome)**

"JazzSong**(The little f[Content blocked for young users] kit deputy, let's kill her!)** RedPaw LakePaw FlamePelt**(Who is apparently a warrior)** your all goint on a parolel to the Windyclna broader." She said and then she went back to her den to wake HawkGorest up she had to tell him sumthn.

"HawkFrost lets get marred.**(Sure, I'll do that with my knife for you! :D)**" She cok him up and locked at him expacently as he blined his amber eys.**(His eyes are blue... typical dumb ass)**

"Oh sweat that's a freat idea! he said." Sould we talthe claN?"**(No! You should leave the clan with her, kill her and then go back to the darkforest!)**

"Yah thats whu I was wakcg you up." She left the den and HawkfOrst was folowig. "Let All Vats Older To Cath There On Pray Gather Hear Benth The High:edge For A Clan Mettin!**(POLITICALLY INCORRECT!)**

They all gathered even though Milloe was upset that BriadPaw had been hurt. (a/n i havent actually red Fading Eches yet but Ive heard that she gets hurt!1!1!1111")**(Yes, she does, this little frack doesn't give an arse about how or even care to read the damn book and mention it.)**

"HawkFrost and I are getting mriaged!" yelld StarPaw **(RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!)**happ;y. Everone startwf crapping! They were soooo happly for StarGstar they new she nedded a mat.**(Ugh! She's had what? 2000?!)**

"Do you knw what we shuld do?" called out BubPaw **(Who the hell is Bubpaw?)**and StarGleam didn't want to listen to him because he was stpid (a/n just look at his narem how culd he NOT be stupd!1?1**(Oh I don't know? Because you're too much of an idiot to read the book and find out whether he IS one or not?_**) but she was ledar so she decided to hurm him. "What is ist BubmFlit" she esked lokoking at the he cat.**(Like I said... idiot)**

"We should go annunce it at the Gathern!**(So legit! Had gathering two days ago now there's another one!)**" he said and everony chered. They all aruged with him. So the Thhner caln cats left for the Gatherin. But when they got there... they saw... BullStar was dead!**(Who the hell is this 'Bullstar'?)** In his palsh was... FLAMESTAR!**(Who is this Flamestar?1/1/?[Ones intentioned])**


	21. Chapter 19, again?

Chapter 19 **(Again...)**The Nwe Love**(Wait, so she and Hawkfrost had a split? Baby come back!)**  
Stupid falmes! ur all satinsit1s! **(I'm an Atheist, not a 'Satinsit' whatever the heck that is) **StarKesus **(That's fiction...)**is ur saver y cant u just eccept that. Also im not a torll!1 ppl tell me Im ver petty!**(Point missed, completely)**  
Btw Jazz are you happy wih the last chpaetr? i no im promised u I wood mack you depduey**(You should've waited)**  
gasped! 'What are ou doing her FireStar" she  
said.**(Huh?)**

"I tock over ShaderClan**(Wait, so a bunch of cats make the shaders that are on my Minecraft... okay?)**" he said happly. "I went 2 there teratory n they fondu me there. **(...)**he told me that BlakStar was deda he was so dpersed when you bcame ledar that he mocitted swisscide.**(Do not insult Switzerland you smuck. I have friends there!)**"

"OMIJISH BUT THASS A SIN**(It wasn't listed in your petty little list, was it?)**" SIAD StarGleam.

"i know rite." said FierStart "but he was so sad yo woudnet be his meat."**(Nooo, they brainwashed him too!)**

GleamStar was said for a mome. But then she rembered her and Hawkfrost-kun**(No. Stop. Bad)** were geting marred!**(CATS DON'T GET MARRIED YOU DUMB ASS) ** And she was happy again.**(No! She can't be happy! She'll kill us all!)**

She run towreds the HighOka a;; the cats wer catching her aw she past. They wanderd why she was even more readient then ussal today. It was  
bcause she is happy. **(No, it's because she's going to kill us all! Duck and hide!) **HawkFirst throgut.**(No! Hawkfrost baby! You can't do that to me!)**

"Cast of all clasn!" se yewled. "I have an nounce!"

"what is it ledder" they all said.**(SHE'S NOT YOUR F[Content is blocked for the safety of young users] LEADER YOU AHHHHHHH!)**

"HawkFrpst and me…are getting… MARTED!"**(Nooooo! D;)**

The clcats cherred in saw and happy!**(No! She brainwashed the others as well!)** Some of them where said the enver got t2 be StarGleams mat but they wer happy anyways becas they lovved her and knw what was bet.**(The little snitch! Bitch I will hunt you down and run you over with my car!)**

"let the marrige begin"**(*Picks up a rifle*)**

But bfore the marige cold happin… there was a nose! "I WANT HER TO B MY MATE" sdi a vice from Abobe!**(NO! NOT ANOTHER BRAINWASHED IDIOT!)**

"Starclan?" sad GleamSyar?**(You mean Idiotclan?)**

"No." said the vice. "its…THE DAK FROSET!"**(WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TELLING HER?!)**

And then therw ere clods!1111 It stared to rain! And..litening stroked! it hert StarFleam!**(Yes, it hurts very much when you're struck by lightning, it's happened to me)**

It hurt.**(Apparently she thought she needed to say it twice)**

AND GLEAMSTAR CODLU FELL HETSELF DID!11!111!1!**(And she's died twice in the last five chapters! Yippee!)**  
1!/

SHE wock up. Se was in the dark frost she rmebered. It was blak around. "blackstar" she siad wanderin if hed' wanted 2 see was blackStar a bad cat she **(Wut?)**wandered she didn't know if he wod o to teh Fark Firest!**(There is no such place!)**

She shaw a shap in the dirtence. "BackStar?" shse seda. "its meh starGleam**(Agh)**

Then the cat torned arund. It was… ASSFyR!**(Yes, he's an ass. But Staridiot is more of an ass!)**

Ashfir locked aht her. "gigle" **(... Apparently that needed to be said) **he said "glemstar… ur beatiful….like SquireFlit…i wnted u…to be….my met?"**(What a narcissist)**

"NO9999999999999 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" said Gleam.**(That was actually the only smart thing she said in this entire book.)**

He looked sad. "what do u mena" he said.**(Can you not understand the word 'no'?) **  
And then… was BROCKENSTAR?**(Excuse me?)**


	22. Falled leaves?

Chapter 20 STARCALN**(Oh no! Not more! Not more!)**  
"Oh no Broakcnstar!" yelled StarGleam mad;y I can;t be talkin to brokenStar!**(Uh... Yes you can, because, hypothetically, I would rather live with him than what Starclan has become)**" And sheran away leaving AshFurt behin her. She run and ranned and runend and then se was at StarClan!"**(So legit... so very very legit...)**

"Yay Im not at the dark Fort anymro1! she thought happly **(She must have brainwashed herself as well)**and then she wasked across the broard and then she was in Starclan!1**(But you already said that...)**

"Welcmon to Starcaln said YellowFangn **(No! THEY BRAINWASHED YELLOWFANG! NO NO NO! MY LIFE IS RUINED!)**she was stnding ther with LefPool**(Who died some unknown death off screen which was not worthy enough to be mention)**, BrambleClan, SpottedLeaf and BakSrae.**(Who what when how?)**

"Blakstar yoyre not in the Dark FGort !" Gleamstar yelled hellpy, she didnt want him to be their she lovd him after all.**(Because she is a slut who cannot have too many mates and will probably screw anyone who comes her way)****  
**

"Of course not" BlackStar relipe. "wy would i be their I mean I luv tou after tll2!"**(Uh, because you loved her?_**

"well thats tru" reoidned Gleamstar. "but I can't be in StarCan! Oalready came here once I cant do it agan!"**(Wait... don't you have like, eight more lives?)**

"well it looks like you haf. said BlueStar**(*Watches logic sail out the window* Bye bye!)** and she said "but we cant send you back to the calns again, this time it locks like we'll have to REINCART YOU."**(CAN'T YOU JUST KILL HER?!)**

"Omh Reincartion!" yelled StarGam "you mean like what haopned to CinderPaw?"**(You mean Cinderheart? Lionblaze's future mate?)**

"Yah" said CinderPelt **(Uh... wouldn't she be in- no wait... she separated somewhere around here I think? Somewhere))**comin yp to her "thast what happened t me I was reicnanrt." She Said.**(You were brainwashed as well!)**

"But it might be awhile" said SpottedPool**(Who the hell is that?)** "after all we have to figre out Ow were going do that firtsl}**(Apparently, sending a cat back to a body is hard)** "go do somethinm elese"**(Sure, instead of locking her up for all eternity let's let her run around)**

"okay" siad GleamStar and she luf. She heard her namer being called and she turnd around and saw HawkForst standing over her body.**(HAWKFROST KILLED HER?! YAY!)**

"StarPaw noooooooooooooooooooooo!1111!11111!1!11!111!"**(I don't think that was required o-o)** je yowle. "Starcaln how ould you od this to me!" "We were about to get marti.**(They did it so they could break the spell my love 3)**

"Im sorry Hawk Frost" said StarGleam "I'll be back soon I think"!**(Dude... stop)**

"Wat whose there?" HawkFrost looked around but hed idnt sieantyhing.**(I can barely read this...)**

"Its me GleamStar" said GleamStra looking at him.**(So legit)**

"I cant see yo" he said and he buped into a tree. Then he fele down.**(What? I'm pretty sure Hawkfrost-baby isn't stupid enough [unlike the cat who brainwashed him] to walk into a tree)**

"bye HawkForst!" said StarGleam and she left cius she didn' want to see what would haben when her belocd HawkyForest wock up so she luf.**(... DIE BITCH!)**

"hi their StarGlema" said a voice and GlemaGleam looked around. "Whose there!1!11!**(MUCH EXCLAMATION)**" she eked and it was... Falled leaf!1!111111!1!11111**(Who that?)**


	23. Hawkashfur?

Chatpre 21 The Purtle**(Cross between a turtle and a portal? The world may never know)**  
Felled Leaf**(Who?) ** what hare**(HANDS OFF THE RABBIT BITCH!)** you doing here" said StarGlean. "I'm here to dilevere a propheci." He he said."I allredy kow about the propheco." she siad. "out of the darknedd, stargl will come and get rid of the evil tigger and holy."**(Er, okay?)** "Thast not one I mean."**(Ah shat, not another one!)** Said Falleb Leaf. "I mean….theyr are dayk throats in the forst."**(Excuse me? Is this chic being racist?!)**

"w?" said GlStarGleam "U see ther are still cast who dont belive in Starclan."**(And? People have their reasons for not believing in things!)** "WHAT SIAD GLEMASTARR AFTER EVERTTHING IVE DON FOR THEM HOW OCULD TEHY"**(Because you're a frackin' idiot who ruined any thoughts they had about it!)** "The Dork Forest is tacking over theri minnds. Said Falled Leave. There using ClodTail and MotWig tu help them.**(No! Leave chubby cheeks and mothy out of this!)** So you must…. Start….. a war… ON THE DAERK FRSOT!11!1!##!**(Kid, that already happened)** Weave all ben watting for you GleamStar." And then he luft.**(Who? What? Where when how why?)**

Starlgeam dint have any tim to thick=====think becuse some1 called her nam!**(Of course... the tispe)**

"STarGleam" called SpotedLeaf. "Its time for you to b riencarted." "YAY" said Gleamstar. Thery was a portle. She locked at the portel.**(Okaayyyyyy?)** It was suierling 7 brihte.**(...)** "Go in thru there" siad BallStar. He loked said that Stargleam codnt be with him but she new hed be ok. She nugled him he felled better.**(Please, can we actually try to make this good? My brain is slowly frying itself...)**

then she wandred what woldu happen. "We ont know for sure." omitted BeluStar. "But it worked b4 itl wokr agaen.'**(Okay?)**

StarGkeam was abuut to step into the purtel ehwn…. SHFUR!11!**(...)**

"NO" HE SAID" I WNAT HER FOR HIMSELF"**(What?)** "quick StarGleam getting" said hestering towered the portle**(Who's hestering?)**

Justs as she was about to jup in….. HawkAShfur pussed aginst her! She was nocked forwered into the suirling purtle!111**(That sounds so wrong...)**

She lookced back to se….ASHFUR Had cum BACK ThRU TO1!11!1**(So dramatic! So wondrous!)**


	24. EVUL!

NextChapter**(So no ridiculous name? Just 'Next Chapter'?)**  
oka im back! i saw the good reviews some ppl gave me and i wnated to come back. Also my friend JazzPaw is helping wit the chapters she healped me with the first tow but after that she didnt' have internte but hse got it back now. :DDDDDDDDD**(THAT'S MY EMOTE, BETCH D:)**

Then StarKit wock up and she was in the forest.**(What forest? The dark forest? The sark forest? The fark forest? The forest by my house?)**

"Mew" she said becuse the sould'nt talk becuse the was a kit.**(...)**

"Hello kitty" said her mother **(Who is?) **and StarKit lookd up.

Her mother... was HolyLeaf!"**(Am I the only one who doesn't get it?)**

"t!" said SatrKit. She lokce around to see whar she was.**(o3o)**

"Were in the Donderclan **(WHICH IS?) **camp" said HolyLeaf "oh look here comes yourfather now!"**(WAIT SO FALLENLEAVES AND HOLLYLEAF FINALLY GOT TOGETHER? YAY!)**

Into the nursey came... TigerSar!**(THE LITTLE [The following content is blocked because most people don't know words so vile and might not wish to know])**

StarKit new ther was soemthing she should no about TiggerStar but she didnt know wat.**(Mother f...)**

"Thass your daddy TiggerStar!" said HolyLef.**(Not only did the author decide to brain-wash every traitorous cat in the clans but every good minded cat as well!)**

"I no that nam" though StarGit but she could thing about it becuse HolyLeaf said "Their are other kits out there go aly with them I have to takl to TigerSar**(THE NAZIS ARE COMING THE NAZIS ARE COMING!)** in peace/**(...)**

StarKit wnet out into the clering and the cats wer stnding over the body of StarStar. **(Yay!) **StarKit locked arund to see who els was in the clring. Then she saw RedPaw and lakePool sitting by the side sad'y with ther tals line.d.

"I thught StarStar tild you to stop bein plebian?**(Does this little [Blocked here] even know what that means?)**" saud StarKit speking her firt sors.

"How would yoyu no" said LakePawl gettin defend. "Yur just a kit!"**(...This story and plot makes me imagine them as sassy teenage cats with defective mouths)**

"Your rigt" said StarKit "how do U no?"**(They know because she was their idiot sister)**

"Your HolylEaf's kid right?" ekd RedPaw. "I think Book and StormFur also had a kit, I think his name is AshKit."**(THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?)****  
**

"Yuou should go see him" said JayFethr. **(Where did he come from?) **StarKit new ther was sumthing familr about him to but she could't remembr what!1!1!1**(NO! STOP! BAD!)**

"Yse I will thanz" relld. StarKit and she went bok to the nursry. She saw AshJit but she dint get to takl to him becuse then ther ewas a yell from abobe the camp. "HAHA LAQWL**(WHAT?)**" yelld a locked up. On on sid she saw YellowFagn BrambleCawl, LeafPolo, Wiit Storm and BlueStra and on the other were HolyLeaf and TigerStar!**(...)**

"Its a war betwen Starcaln and the Dark Forest!" said LinoBlaze and then... StarKit realeid... her mom and dad... wee EVUL!**(NO! YOUR 'PARENTS' ARE THE GOOD ONES!)**

**A/N **

**Hi guys.**

**That's about it.**

**I got a story for y'all. :D**

**Me: *On megashare, watching Godzilla :D* This is awesome..**

**Mom: *Pokes head in door* Sweet it's time for dinner**

**Me: AFTER MOVIE**

**Mom: I SAID TIME FOR DINNER**

**Me: AND I SAID AFTER MOVIE**

**Mom: We'll have peaches and cereal for desert if you come down now**

**Me: DEAL!**

**The bribe of peaches and cereal is over powering.**


	25. Not An Update

**...Hey guys.**

**In the sort of short time span of this post and the last update, I got a boyfriend and lost him. Moments ago really...**

**You see, earlier I was out shopping, and by pure chance it happened to be the same store my boyfriend was currently at.**

**And I walked past him.**

**And he was kissing this other girl from my class. I left the place and told my mother they didn't have what we needed.**

**Life sucks.**

**A lot.**

**That means I probably won't be updating for awhile due to the fact that I'll probably be crying my eyes out...**


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